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Friday, June 30, 2006
  I'm A Mused

Which is why I rip off other people's writings and I'm really glad that you enjoyed yesterday's post. What is it about cynicism which we get off on? Could it be that there's a grain of truth embedded in the jaundiced awry humour?

So, why am I not smiling when I read this piece of satire in today's Guardian?

Charlie Brooker, a geek, and proud of it, says that he's too old for MySpace.

It had to happen, and it has. Age has crept up on me. I'm becoming resistant to technological change .... I'm looking at MySpace and I'm a fumbling old colonel struggling to comprehend his nephew's digital watch.

I mean, I know what MySpace is and what it's supposed to do and how influential it is. It's just that whenever I've visited a MySpace page I've thought "is that it?" and wandered around the perimeter looking confused, like a blind man patting the walls for an exit he can't find.

So users create a page and upload their music and photos and videoclips; they post blog entries and links to other stuff and leave witty little messages for one another. And it all meshes together to form a thriving social network. Okey dokey. On the surface it all makes sense.

Yet it's not for me.

Still, at least the teenage MySpacers are getting on with the business of being young and alive, unlike the fustier elements of the "blogosphere", who just waste the world's time banging on and on about how important the "blogosphere" is and how it spells the end of every old notion ever, when the truth is that, as with absolutely every form of media ever, 99% of the "blogosphere" is rubbish created by idiots.

Which could be why this is possibly the only 'Comment is free' page in the Guardian where commenting is not enabled.

So, is Jakartass in the 1% or am I an idiot? And do I, or you dear reader, really care?

If not, try and answer these questions from the Indonesian SAT - History Paper.

1. President Sukarno proclaimed that the year 1963 be named the year of ...?
a) ... living mindlessly.
b) ... living at the end of the street in a small bungalow (you can't miss it).
c) ... living next door to Alice.
d) ... livin' in da 'hood.

2. Who said "I was just whispering in her mouth"?
a) Former VP Hamzah Haz, when quizzed about his behaviour at the clandestine wedding to his third wife.
b) 'King of Dangdut' Roma Irama, when surprised with a 17-year-old school-girl in a hotel room.
c) A young man in Tangerang, when apprehended in close proximity to his girlfriend under a tree.

3. On 30 September 1965, which of the following was not on the list of Generals targeted by the 'coup' plotters for assassination?
a) Lieutenant-General Yani
b) Major-General Parman
c) General Suharto

4. Which of the following Generals did not get a toll road named after him?
a) Lieutenant-General Yani
b) Major-General Parman
c) General Suharto

5. Which General explained his absence from Jakarta on the night his fellow Generals were assassinated by saying that he had "taken his son fishing"?
a) Lieutenant-General Yani
b) Major-General Parman
c) General Suharto

6. When the Indonesian armed forces under General Suharto decided to 'restore order' after the killing of six Generals, what policy did they pursue?
a) Arrest the guilty parties and put them on trial.
b) Arrest the guilty parties and put them on trial, and outlaw the PKI.
c) Arrest the guilty parties and put them on trial, and outlaw the PKI, and kill every PKI member they could lay their hands on.
d) Arrest the guilty parties and put them on trial, and outlaw the PKI, and kill every PKI member they could lay their hands on, and kill their families, and subject their descendants to discrimination for three generations.

7. The term Pancasila is borrowed from Sanskrit. It means:
a) no parking
b) I see many robbers
c) cunnilingus

8. Which of the following ruses has former President Suharto not used to avoid having to stand trial for looting the state of billions of dollars for private gain?
a) Feigning a stroke, by putting cotton wool in one side of his mouth, walking with a stick and doing the 'Gus Dur' eye roll.
b) Feigning mental illness, by walking in the street with his pajamas on back to front and telling his neighbours 'he wants to go fishing'
c) Having Supreme Court judges 'taken for a boat-ride'.
d) Giving the money back.
 

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