Left hand, right hand
Not being ambidextrous, I'm completely right-handed, I have problems wiping my bum with my left hand. I also have problems with the notion of using my hand, any hand, without a lining of paper.
Now I do know that my toilet technique is not Islamic. I read about it here
, and apparently when water is not available, a material that does not have a smooth surface, such as stone or wood can be used. Tissue paper can be used as long as it does not absorb the feces or urine and cause the hand to come into contact with it.
You may not wish to know that but it does serve to introduce today's momentous news that if the lavatory attendants at Soekarno-Hatta airport have neglected to keep the cubicles supplied with babysoft tissue, there is a new SMS service
to summon assistance."The operator will reply back within five to 10 seconds, around-the-clock,"
is the promise. Unfortunately the service will only be available available in Indonesian and only for those cellular phone owners who use Telkomsel phone cards.
And unfortunately for me, I don't have a handphone at all. (I like the notion of privacy; there is nothing so urgent that requires an instant response, especially in a country with elastic time
.) Anyway, I always carry a wodge of tissue in my back pocket in case I get caught short.
I think Prince Charles would agree with my attitude. Yesterday he attacked "short-term, fashionable" trends in education yesterday which he said were threatening the "foundations of civilised existence".
He was actually referring to "voguish preoccupation" with making subjects relevant - including plans to allow children to study text messaging as part of GCSE English Studies.
I totally agree. Furthermore I think it should be mandatory for all toilets to have a shelf of good reading material such as I have here in Jakartass Towers. I use my little room in lieu of a study.
If you have wifi access in your loo but no paper reading material, which would be handy if the roll has run out, you can spend time in the Virtual Toilet Paper Museum
Phew. That feels better.