The following two items are too good to leave to his much wider readership.
Firstly, since I gave up the evil weed, tobacco, it's been virtually non-stop coughing, spluttering and sniffing. As my lungs are emptied of their gunge I get the feeling that I'm losing my immunity to all the airborne pollution and viruses.
That's why I was particularly pleased to see this new invention, the NosePouchTM.
A new generation of handerkerchief which will contain my excessive nasal discharge is just what I've been looking for.
Now onto more stupidity decreed in the name of religion. I'm sure that I won't be accused of being anti-semitic with this story. It's just that I like to be even-handed when someone decrees that they are holier than everyone else.
In a tough break for the children of Orthodox Jewish families, a former grand rabbi of Israel has urged parents to amputate their dolls to avoid the perils of idolatry.
Basing the move on a Biblical ban on the possession of idols, Mordechai Eliyahu, a Sephardic rabbi, broadcast his edict on a religious radio station calling for an arm or a leg to be dismembered.
In the case of a teddy bear or other stuffed animals, the children will see their beloved toys lose an ear or an eye instead.
"It is very important that these toys do not remain intact so as to remove the element of idolatry," said Eliyahu.
His son, Shmuel Eliyahu, himself a rabbi in the northern town of Safed, said that it was inappropriate to own statues or dolls, even to play with or for artistic purposes."They need to be amputated or at least altered," he said.
Shmuel revealed that his father had forced one of his followers to snap off the ear of a replica of a statue of Moses by Michelangelo that he had bought at an exorbitant price.
