Asshole Eaten By Stoned CrocJakartass is fermented with highly complex thought processes and extensive research. What follows is, therefore, a bit of an aberration in that I can't verify some of it. But no matter.
You see, I came across a short news item in the Jakarta Post, one they thoughtlessly don't seem to have posted on line, about a young man who went down to the river's edge near his
kampung to defecate. And along came a croc and grabbed him.
This image has, of course, given me constipation due to an urge to clench my buttocks.
I met a family yesterday, Mum, Dad and son, who have a six-bathroom house - for the three of them, and four household staff. Thinking of the water they waste with their waste, it crossed my mind to suggest that they donate a toilet or two to the young man's village.
Strange to think that those most in touch with nature should suffer more than those who abuse it.
Still, this anecdote has helped me find a few more incidences of Mother Nature fighting back.
This site has tales of squirrels biting to death a stray dog - they were probably after its nuts, moose(s) getting drunk, monkeys attacking and killing a Delhi politician - I can't say I blame them, exploding cows and killer seaweed.
We human animals are not omnipotent. After all, there are many species which predate the human race, one we'll lose to, say, cockroaches as extinction beckons us long before theirs.
What I've always found strange is the quest to determine our origins because our lives are lived in the here and now. Half the world's population are engaged in the daily struggle to meet daily needs, and for those who can afford schooling the curricula is geared to the regurgitation of mainly useless 'facts', often, in Indonesia,
inculcated with violence.
As the Warden of the fictional St.John's University in
Robertson Davies'
The Rebel Angels (pub. Penguin. 1982) says, "
Education for immediate popular consumption is more popular than ever, and nobody wants to think of the intellectual tone of the nation."
This is, of course, paradoxical in that all human cultures have their own special, epic creation stories. Whether it's the seven day myth wherein none of the three abrahamic religions can agree on which day God rested from His labours, or which, what and where the first humanoid appeared much of it is mental excrement defecated for fame or faith.
High science has based its own special “scientific” creation story on primitive stone tools found by
Louis and Mary Leakey in 400 feet deep sediments in Olduvai Gorge in the 1950s.
Now, it seems from
this personal diatribe - is this the longest website name? - , that what they found were actually stones regurgitated by crocodiles, stones used as 'grinders' and ballast.
An asshole can see that (these)
specimens are nothing but a bunch of goddam 1.8 million year old crocodile stomach stones nicely abraded from churning around in some goddam old crocodile's highly energetic stomach down in the bottom of goddam old Olduvai Gorge about 1.8 million years ago.
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