I've been invited by Joy, perhaps a pseudonym, to earn some money by reviewing websites and products here on Jakartass.
Unfortunately, with but 2kbs per second it would have to be BIG money to tempt me to browse their customer sites, and I also don't have a PayPal account. I think I'll stick to the copyediting and writing commissions which come my way, presumably because my writing is so addictive.
That said, I do have a couple of products which I can't resist telling you about, one of which I can personally vouch for and one which I think everyone in Jakarta should have.
My local midimarts having removed all beer from their shelves for the duration of the peaceful month of Ramadan in case those Fundamentalist Peabrained Islamists should be tempted to wreak their petty vandalism, last week I went browsing in my local Galael supermarket for some weekend Bintangs.
Having stocked up with the amber nectar, I wended my way through the aisles for other tasty comestibles and my eyes were caught by some attractive looking drinks in tetrahedon packs.
Real Good fruit flavoured milk, in blackcurrant, apple and orange, is, I think, a new product from PT Greenfields Indonesia, the major milk producers here. Unfortunately, a search of their website only seems to lead to a daunting list of Chinese powdered milk products, none of which, I'm sure, are that good for your newborn, so you'll have to make do with the out-of-focus picture taken by Our Kid..
What initially attracted me to them was the resemblance of their packaging to Jubblies.
When I was a lad, summers offered a range of ice creams from the likes of Lyons and Walls, whose sellers cycled around neighbourhoods on becaks (tricycles) crying, if my memory serves me well, "Try me and stop one." Well, Walls can be had here from my local warung, but I'd long forgotten about Jubblies.
These were orange drinks in waxy paper tetrahedron cartons which were often found frozen in ice cream refrigerated cabinets in our local grocers or sweetshop. You'd cut along one edge, gently squeeze so that the frozen drink rose to the open slit and then suck out the flavour. In other words, they were ice lollies without sticks so they didn't drip all down your fingers.
Ah, lubbly jubbly. So I was well pleased to spot the Real Good drinks; I bought four and put them in our fridge freezer compartment here in Jakartass Towers.
And they are real(ly) good, with one advantage over Jubblies - the flavour lasts the whole suck through. But I would like to know if these are smaller drinks, or is my subsequent physical growth distorting my memory?
And now for something completely different and not, as yet, available here in Indonesia.
It's a grass ring and, no, it can't be a joke, not at £119.00.
The ring part is made of moulded silver so Growing Rings are a mix of jewelry and plant, couture and organism. Designed for people in metropolitan areas - that's us, Jakartans - the Growing Ring is a chance to take a little bit of greenery with you.
Like any plant, the ring will need to be watered and nurtured to be at its best.
Presumably you can only use fresh water, so if you wanted to wear one whilst enjoying a day at the beach, you'd need one with seaweed.
....................................If either Greenfields or the designer of the Grassing Ring like my plugs, I'd be happy to accept products in lieu of cash.